Snuck into w@rped tour 7 years too late

On friday, Jon Con, Elise and I snuck into the warped tour.

We rode into Barnett Park (immediately next to the fairgrounds) and straight into the tour bus entrance - on bikes. Jon Con said to "look bored and don't stop."

We walked in and locked up backstage, nobody really seemed to think it was weird that we were on bikes. Neat! After exploring there awhile, we went into the non-backstage area. We tried to schmooze the booze tent to give us free beer. no luck. On one occasion, jon con explained that we were traveling through and just wanted some beer, the lady almost gave in until she learned that neither of us had brought an id, afterwards, another woman from the beer tent came up to me an asked if i did food not bombs - yes, i replied, blowing our cover...

At another beer tent, the woman wasn't having any of our antics, so we were all "what about at the end of the night? the beer will be flat the next day" she still said she wouldn't give us free beer, so we said we'd be back at the end of the day for free beer.

After this we spanged a bunch of 14 year olds for their parents money to get beer - no luck, aside from the dollar elise got.

THEN we found $31 after Bad Religion played.

Then Elise and I walked back into the backstage area -looking bored as usual - nobody questioned or stopped us. we hung out near some tour buses, to "blend in," while waiting for jon con who stayed back to try to get stuff off the ground after the next band. He called us and was past us into the backstage (i don't know how he passed us). We met him in the pavillion, where a catered party was underway. After learning that beer and food were money I was hesitant about staying, but was convinced that we could "leave soon, but i'm going to try something" by jon con.

We were near the bikes and jon con reappeared with a handful of beers. Apparently just walking past the counter at the beer stand, taking a handful of beers and just walking back out works like a charm - after we'd each had about 3-4 beers we went towards the tour buses again and wound up sitting at someone else's circle of camp chairs next to their bus (like we own the place - which, i guess we really did). Eventually a couple dudes came out of the bus and instead of confronting us, just sat down and were interested in just hanging out. Cool.

They asked what band we're in - to which we quickly answered "No Qualms" (truthfully the band jon con and I are in - but most definately not playing the warped tour). After the quick q and a I learned (from jon con doing the talking) that we are from boston, playing just 3 dates on the tour - during our separate tour - i had to go along with this, but it was easy. Afterwards, i learned that we had told them we played on 3 different stages - a minor factual discrepancy, that the band ("forever the sickest kids") didn't seem to notice.

After elise got a tour of the bus, and some more shit-shooting, jon con and I went up to deebo some more beer. I watched him from a distance and wound up giggling at how literally nobody looked at him while he was doing that. It was absurd. Leaving the pavillion, however, we heard a "hey you! stop!" and I kept walking. A beat or two later i looked back casually (to skirt any assumption that I was responding to "you") - to see that jon con had stopped - i guess it made him look like he didn't have anything to hide - myself, not being "that guy" walked back. The woman asked if jon con had payed for the beers, and without blinking he said that "the guy in that other band got me for it" (or something like that) - which the woman seemed to buy. Just then the bartender caught up to the scene and "couldn't remember" if that was true - haha.

"are you in a band?!" she asked, nearly out of breath and red in the face.

"uhh, YEAH" we countered.

"well, where are your laminates?" she asked.

Patting myself near the waist - trying to look like i'd forgotten something - I replied "shit - i left them on my other shorts - i changed after we played - they're in the bus" - and jon con agreed.

She radioed some other guy about seeing if "no qualms" were on the warped tour - we interrupted the response smoothly, offering to go get our laminates if that would make it easier - to which she AGREED.

We went back (conveniently) towards the tour buses - (looking like we were going to ours) - to get elise - I announced to the band and her that my cousin was in town and we'd be meeting him downtown to see the city - she got up quick and as we walked back to the bikes I explained to her what had happened. We unlocked the bikes and BOUNCED.

I can't believe any of it worked.

We each saved $40 on admission - roughly $10 bucks on beer - and gained $10 each from ground findings. Even if none of this was true we got away with so much it'd be worth it alone.